porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
