Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
