she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
