This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
