What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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