so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
