i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
