McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
