Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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