well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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