do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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