THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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