Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
