Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
