I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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