I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
