I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
