But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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