You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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