I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
