You're so nebulous sometimes
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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