im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
