quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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