Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i now understand why vodka
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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