Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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