Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
