Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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