I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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