fuck your aforementioned shoe
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
