Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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