just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
