You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
