my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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