Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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