But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Bring me that man meat
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
