College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
