I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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