The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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