I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
