Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
