you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hippo gnu deer
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We had to coat check the pizza.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
