How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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