You really coming over, don't trick.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
