I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
