i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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