So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
