Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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