okay pat passed out under dana's car
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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