white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
