Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
