My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
