life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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