Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
