ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
