She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize