bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
