im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Randomize
