my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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