I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
