So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize