Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
